Feliz Navidad y Prospero Año!!

Something I was so excited to do this year for Christmas was making handcrafted and homemade gifts for my family and friends!! There were so many ideas to choose from (thank you Pinterest), that the hardest part was narrowing it down and choosing projects I could actually do without overwhelming myself. So I went with the following:

Homemade bbq sauce and peach jam!

Homemade aftershave

all-natural, alcohol-free! perfect for sensitive skin :)

Homemade simmering potpourri - smells SO good!

This year, we spent Christmas morning just us! All during Christmas Eve, we were preparing Gemma for what was to come. We'd tell her "Guess who's coming tonight?? Santa!! And guess what tomorrow is? Jesus' Birthday!!!" She got the Jesus' birthday part and was pretty excited about that, but she was still struggling to understand the whole Santa thing.

Now, we're not exactly convicted on pushing the Santa story on her, but she at this point definitely understood that there was a big guy in a red suit with a white beard named Santa that seemed to be everywhere. She wanted to know more. But she's 2, so ya gotta keep it at her level. Like I said, she understood the Jesus' birthday part of it, so we went from there. Here's how the conversation went ("Us" is Rocky and myself - yes we speak in perfect unison when teaching lessons to our child):

Us: Well, baby, Santa is a guy who realllllllly loves Jesus and is so excited that it's his birthday that he goes around and gives gifts to everyone to celebrate.
Gem: Santa Cwause comeeng to town??!!?!
Us: Yes! That's right, he'll come here tonight and leave you a present under the tree so you can celebrate Jesus' birthday too!
Gem: I Gemma. This is MY twee for Happy Burtday Jesus! (point to Christmas tree)
Us: That's right, you are Gemma. And Santa's going to come to Gemma's house and leave a present under Gemma's tree for Jesus' birthday!!
Gem: (Unblinking, terrified silence for 15 seconds).
Us: You okay baby?
Gem: Santa Cwasue comeeng to Gemma's house??
Us: Mhm!
Gem: Dat's weally scawwy!!!!!! (runs behind Daddy's legs and starts crying)
Us: It's okaaaaaaay Gem!! It's not scary baby, Santa is really nice and just wants to spread joy for baby Jesus!
Gem: Santa Cwause WEALLY scawwy Mommy!!!
Us: ..........yea, I guess it is kinda scary, huh? It's okay! Santa Clause doesn't have to come tonight! But baby Jesus will still have his birthday tomorrow okay!?
Gem: Okay. I LIKE Jesus.


Sooo, all in all, so long as Santa apparently scares the crap out of our kid, I guess we'll just leave him out of our Christmas celebrating altogether. Fine by me! We care way more about our kids getting excited for Jesus' birthday anyway! And Gemma is definitely solid on that, so maybe we're not awful parents after all.

Here's some pics of our Christmas this year:

Christmas Morning

Action shots - opening presents!

The after-carnage :)

Playing with her new toys after Mass

Gem and her Rudolph! 

She loves him :) 

She thought it was so funny to make Rudolph "bite" her finger while he sang. 

Hilarity!

Big hugs!

26.5 weeks!

One of the things I love about celebrating the liturgical seasons of the Church is that Christmas is so long!!! And we really have been carrying the Christmas spirit with us all these days since the 25th. And we're not done yet - we'll keep the carols spinning and the cocoa pouring till Epiphany! :)

I'd say that our best Christmas gift this year came to us on the fourth day of Christmas. We went as a family to have an ultrasound and got to see our beautiful baby! I absolutely love baby boys and of course would love to be blessed by a son some day, but during this entire pregnancy, both Rocky and I have sooooo deeply desired this baby to be another daughter. Well, I guess God was preparing our hearts for what's to come because sure enough our hopes were fulfilled - we are having another baby girl!! I thought I would cry when I found out because eeeeeeverything makes me cry these days, but just the opposite happened - I burst out laughing! I was SO overjoyed and just could not contain my happiness. The u/s tech actually had to stop for a minute so I could compose myself enough for her to continue with the anatomy scan!! Which, was just a continued blessing as our baby is perfect in every way. She's camera shy though - she hid her face the entire time so we never got to catch a glimpse of her profile for even a second. Just an ear :) The cutest little ear ever of course. So we won't get to see her beautiful face till her debut - which is getting ever closer! Only three months to go!

I am so looking forward to all the blessings God has in store for us this 2013. Although I kicked off the New Year in the worst way ever. Oh sure, we went to a few parties and saw our friends and had tons of fun. But right around 11:30, the stomach beast from Hades violently overtook me, and we had to rush home. I was writhing in pain in the backseat and just praying I wouldn't have any issues in the car. Somehow I made it till we got home, and while the world was watching the ball drop, sipping champagne and kissing loved ones at the stroke of midnight, I was crying and hugging a toilet bowl. I'll spare further details. Problem with being pregnant is as soon as you tell anyone you're sick, or that you got sick, they think it's pregnancy-related. Nope. Just ate something that didn't quite sit with me too well. Not too well at all, actually.

So, this rather dismal ringing in of the New Year episode made me think. Wouldn't it be cool to start keeping a personal record of how you spend each New Year's? Who you're with, where you are, what you're doing right when the clock hurdles us into a New Year... I think I might start. I'll back-log the years I can remember, and maybe if I'm feeling super-momish, I'll keep a separate log for my kids so they can have it and take over when they're old enough to track their own. I just think it would be such a neat thing to look back on when your 70 years old and see all the different chapters of your life, all the different friends and homes, all the different ways your life changes as the years roll by.

As for Resolutions, I'm keeping mine simple this year:
1. Love more, yell less.
2. Write. Write for work, for fun, for relaxation, for prayer, and for no reason at all sometimes.
3. Finish my TSOL certification. (Certifies me to teach English as a Second Language)
4. Set small goals; be optimist and positive in completing them.

I have all kinds projects and improvements I want to make this year - in my personal life, my relationships, my work, my home organization, etc. I'm not going to list them all out as my "New Year's Resolutions" because I know I get overwhelmed easily by long to-do lists. So instead, I'll just pick a project and complete it. When that's done, onto the next. Small goals, one at a time!

I hope you all are having a lovely Christmas season and I pray your 2013 will be very blessed. What are you thankful for from 2012? What are you looking forward to in 2013? Any resolutions?

You Know You're Pregnant When...

Volume 2.

Here are some of my latest and more entertaining telltale signs that there is a little person inside me growing away!!

You Know You're Pregnant When:

1. You cherish the times when you can settle down after eating to feel every crazy kick and flip your baby does upon receiving all that yummy nutrition.

2. You watch 101 Dalmatians for the first time since you were twelve and sob when Perdita says she's so scared Cruella wants to do something bad to her babies, then again when her babies are born and Roger has to revive little Lucky back to life, and then again when the puppies are stolen and Nanny stands in the middle of the street crying "The puppies! The puppies are gone!"

3. You go on a cheddar cheese bender. Followed up by chugging an entire glass of orange juice.

4. You have a super vivid dream about giving birth to a bright purple teddy bear and when you look to your husband for comfort from the horror, he has suddenly transformed into Jeff Daniels, circa Dumb and Dumber, thus compounding the horror which causes you to wake with a start and double check that your husband is indeed still himself, not some version of Harry the doofus dog groomer.

5. You smile secretly to yourself when the baby is moving and no one else around you could possibly know. It's just a quiet shared moment between the two of you.


General pregnancy updates:

I am 20 weeks along at this point, which makes me so excited to be at the halfway mark already! This pregnancy is definitely going by faster than Gemma's did. I am feeling so healthy. I am grateful that I was able to start this pregnancy about 20 pounds lighter than my pregnancy with Gemma. So far I've only gained 11 pounds, which is right on track!

Even though everyone says that subsequent pregnancies show way earlier and even more than your first pregnancy, that has not been my experience whatsoever. Maybe it's because of the difference in pre-pregnancy weight, but my belly is still so small! The most common thing people say to me who know I'm pregnant or who find out I am  is: "Where's the baby?! You don't look pregnant at all!" Which on the one hand is kinda nice, certainly better than "Sure you're not carrying twins!?? That's one big belly!" buuuut, at the same time, I wanna say "But, but, I am pregnant!! I have a little miracle growing in there! Someone please acknowledge my baby's presence!" I guess the conclusion is the only proper thing so say in regards to a pregnant woman's appearance is "You look beautiful!" Come to think of it, that's probably the best thing to say to any woman, pregnant or not!

Here are some belly shots:

I feel tired every afternoon, which is my low energy point of the day, pregnant or not. I'm so grateful for the days when I'm able to catch a nap with Gemma! I'm experiencing lots of round ligament pains this time around, which is new because I had none whatsoever with Gemma's pregnancy. Definitely having the nasal congestion that comes along with most pregnancies. I had this with Gem, so at least it's one thing I'm used to! Nothing terrible, just annoying sometimes.

It's so exciting to imagine a brand new baby! Hair color, eye color, personality, temperament, everything! At a time when I'm still discovering so much about my little Gem and her amazing, hilarious, entertaining personality, it makes feel so blessed that we're welcoming a whole new, totally unique person into the family. My one prayer is that we get a good sleeper this time around! :)

For all those dying to know the gender - we're still not certain we'll find out ahead of time. Rocky definitely wants to, and I'm on the fence. Of course there's a huge part of me that would love to know, to be able to call the baby "he" or "she" instead of "he or she", to be able to prepare the right colored clothing, etc. But there's another huge part of me that wants to have that special moment at birth of "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!", to be able to share in one of life's last, true surprises.

Rocky really wants to have a gender reveal party, which I agree would be super fun. These are getting more and more popular I think. So we'd have the ultrasound tech write down the gender on a piece of paper, give it to a friend, and they'll plan a party for us with some sort of "big reveal" moment to show us and all the party guests the baby's gender. The idea scares me a bit though. My main issue here is control. It's like... if I'm going to find out  - I want to find out from the tech. I still don't fully trust this technology, despite major advances... I want to be able to say "Look Cool Tech Person, show me the goods that you're seeing. Show me the boy parts or the girl parts. I want to see this for myself!" I'd be so worried if they just wrote it down on a piece of paper that I'd never feel at peace with it being 100% accurate!

Rocky did say if we find out with this one, he'll be okay with being surprised with any future Rhoades babies! I said "Even if this is another girl?" and he promised, "Even if this is another girl." Sooooo.... we shall see! I haven't scheduled an ultrasound yet, but now is the time to do so.

What do you all think? Did you find out the gender with your babies ahead of time? Why or why not? If you've done both, which experience did you like better? Should we try a gender reveal party?

No Foot Too Small

Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Back in 1988, when President Reagan declared today as such, he had this to say: "When a child loses a parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widower. When parents lose their children, there isn't a word to describe them. This month recognizes the losses that so many parents experience across the United States and world..."

As many of you will remember, this past February, Rocky and I lost our little baby through a miscarriage. He was our second baby, and only with us for a short period of time, but how long does it take for parents to fall in love with their baby? For us, it was the instant we saw that positive pregnancy test. There is no standard by which we can ever measure the depth of our love for baby Benjamin, and thus no standard by which to measure the depth of our grief. 

We are so blessed to be expecting baby #3 right now, and I cannot wait to meet him or her! I am beyond elated to be carrying this child right now, and love him or her infinitely, as I do my other children. But I would be lying if I told you that the joy of this pregnancy has completely wiped out the grief of losing our previous baby. I cannot erase the pain I feel knowing that if all had gone well, I would be holding little Benji right now.. smelling the top of his head, kissing his nose, snuggling him close to nurse. I cannot stop the tears when I think of how much I'll miss him this Christmas, which would have been baby's first Christmas. I cannot sooth the ache in my heart knowing that he never got to run around with Gemma, and she never got to smother him with loving bear hugs. It hurts. It still hurts so much. 

And that's okay. That's my humanity on display. It's okay to cry over a lost child. It's okay to miss them. It's okay to still miss them even if many, many years have passed by. 

So as I sit here writing this, I am filled with glorious humanity. I carry a profound grief in my heart at the loss of my son, while even at the same time, feeling sheer joy at the itty bitty kicks and flips I can feel Baby #3 doing at this very moment. The Scriptures tell us that there is a season for everything. A time to laugh and a time to mourn. Well sometimes... those seasons overlap. Can one possibly laugh while mourning? Or weep while rejoicing? Yes. This is our burdensome, magnificent humanity. This is the nature of life and love.

Today is also the feast day of St. Teresa of Avila. 

It's clear to me that this is a woman who truly understood the human condition, with all its trepidation and joy and sorrow and passion. Despite her place in history, her words speak so relevantly to my heart today, as though she were right in the room with me, holding my hand, resting her forehead against my own..

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things.
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.

You Know You're Pregnant When...

I foresee myself writing many installments of my new segment: You Know You're Pregnant When...

I am 12 weeks pregnant as of yesterday, and enough things have already happened, that HPTs and confirmation from the midwife aside... I would know I was pregnant without any shadow of a doubt.

So here we go, Week 12 of YKYPW.
You Know You're Pregnant When...

1. You cry watching a 2 minute video clip of Yo Gabba Gabba Live with your toddler.
     justification: Okay, in my head, it was just such an emotional, beautiful moment because these little children were SO joyful and excited! It was like watching somebody's dreams come true. :)

2. You find yourself eating a bowl of chili for breakfast.
    justification: First off, this chili is RIDICULOUS. We're talking, could probably win a prize, bowl-lickin', slap yo mama good. Second, it's a much wiser choice to eat chili first thing in the morning because it greatly reduces my risk of nighttime heartburn keeping me awake all night.

3. You cry as a funeral procession drives past you on your drive to the grocery store. To buy chocolate syrup and sour cream.
    justification: Alright, here's the thing. I have a weakness for funerals. One time in high school, my dad drove us up to the church so I could run in to grab a church bulletin and when I went inside, there was a funeral going on. I started bawling on the spot. No clue who the person was or anything, just something about that music really got to me... So anyway, fast-forward to a few days ago, and yea, I cried as the hearse, limo and procession drove by, but let me just tell you - this was a LONG procession. Like, tons of cars. And all I could think was "This person was REALLY loved, and all these people are going to miss him/her SO much!" It made me really, really sad! As for the syrup and sour cream... what? Standards for any household, right? One can never risk running low on either...

4. You go to put your toddler to sleep at 8:30pm and fall asleep before she does.
     justification: For real, people? I need to explain this one? Look, building a human being is hard work. Furthermore, parenting a two year-old all day long is hard work. You try doing both at once and see how late you can stay up!

5. You suddenly begin craving all of the EXACT foods you're supposed to avoid during pregnancy. i.e. sushi, deli sandwiches, wine, etc.
    justification: I am truly at a loss here. Maybe it's the whole forbidden fruit complex. Maybe it's that everywhere you look people are enjoying these forbidden fruits and look like they're having SO much fun doing it! Maybe I just really like those foods normally and now that I can't have them, it makes me sadly pine for them until we can once again be reunited.

6. You frequently find yourself saying to your husband "I know I literally just asked you this question two seconds ago, but I can't remember what your answer was..."
    justification: This is a legit issue, people. This one I can be sure is not just me. I know there's probably some fancy scientific explanation behind it, but I just like to call it "pregnancy brain." These little babies, when they're growing inside you... they steal your brain cells. Or something like that. But for reals, you cannot remember anything. You feel like a bimbo, stoner, amnesiac moron. It's torturous.

7. You suddenly feel brave enough to comment to other women in public who look pregnant.
    justification: It's like, you're part of the secret society now too, so you see another prego mama in the store, and you're all like (head nod) "Sup, sista pregs. When you due? Me's be due in March, yo." Except you speak like a normal human being usually. But this is a dangerous courage, because you are still playing with fire. There really should just never be a time when you ask a lady about her however-obvious pregnancy. Because in reality, she might just have a tumor, or cyst, or bowel disorder, or some other condition that makes her look pregnant, and if so, she's probably really, really self-conscious about it and you might have just ruined her day. Yea, not cool.

8. You see families with the same number of kids as you're about to have when your newest baby is born, and you get super excited!
    justification: Of course you get excited to see other families of your imminent size! Not only does it make your pregnancy more real ("Wow, in x months, that's how our family will be!") but it also comforts you to know there are other families around like yours, and helps you to see it being done in practice, not just theory. Like, "Sweet, those people can do it, so can we!"

9. You were trying to make a list of ten things, but could only come up with these nine. And this one shouldn't even count because it's just an excuse to not do ten.
    justification: Dude, it's almost 11pm and I refer you back to #4 and I rest my case. Goin to bed, homies. Peace. Love. Babies. Yea, I have no idea what I'm saying any more...

Night, y'all!! 

Gemma is Two!!

This post is a few weeks late, but it's been a busy few weeks as always!! I can't believe my baby girl turned two on August 13th!! She's getting so big and smart, daring and darling all at the same time. 

For her actual birthday, we took her out to pizza (her favorite) and ice cream of course! She was so excited to go she was dancing by the door!

Yes, she insisted on wearing her cupcake socks. With her sandals. 

Then last weekend we threw her a little artist party to celebrate her creativity (and get in touch with mine a bit). I seriously had way too much fun with this theme!! 

The inspiration for the whole party :)

Gotta love the  rainbow fruit kabobs!

Colorful veggies!

The spread :)

Okay so there were five kids total including Gemma, ages ranging from about 1-4. I knew I wanted to have some sort of activity for them to do, but it had to be age-appropriate and captivating enough for the age range. After all of ten seconds of thinking - it came to me - Finger Painting!! Perfect. We had one organized part of the craft where they made hand prints on a white foam board, then they got to move to just sheer fun on a big old piece of white paper (secret - it was a roll of wrapping paper I got for 99 cents, flipped over to the white side!) Needless to say, the kids had tons of fun with this!

The foam board handprints!

Those giant handprints are actually mine - oh yes, Momma got in on that action!

Hmm... does it work the same on my arm? Yup!

Annnnd then we had some water fun to get them all clean! Gemma, well, she takes after her daddy. Apparently getting her hands wet was not sufficient. Full immersion was required.

After everyone got all cleaned up and dried off (and changed back into party tutus!), it was present time. Gemma is now FULLY stocked with enough art supplies to last her years!! Thank you everyone for your fun and creative gifts! 

Then it was dessert time!!! Okay, so my original plan for dessert, since we weren't have a million people over, was just the cookie cake and the artist palette cookies (oh yea, they're cool). But then when I was grocery shopping, I saw this tray of cupcakes with the crayon decals for only $8!! Steal!! It fit way too well with the theme to pass them up :)

I don't know if you can read those, but double bonus (I SERIOUSLY could not say no to these!) - the colors are written in English AND Spanish!!! Thank you!!

Homemade cookie cake!! I'm not much of a cake decorator though - please don't judge!! haha

Time for the birthday girl to blow out her candles!!

Kind of scared of the fire...

Bored? Entranced? Unimpressed? :P

She blew them out all by herself!! :):)

All in all, we had an amazing time celebrating two years full of joy, blessings, fun, and love with our precious little Gem. Love you baby!!!

Why Gemma is "Still" Rear-Facing

Something that may seem like a minor decision in the long list of decisions parents make about their children's safety is when to turn their child car seat from rear-facing to forward-facing. While it may seem like a minor decision, it can actually significantly impact the well-being of your child in the unfortunate even of a car collision.

Lots of people raise their eyebrows when they find out my almost 2-year old is still rear-facing in her car seat and that I don't plan on turning her around anytime soon. Car seat safety is something that is ever-evolving, so the level of car seat safety "we grew up with" is vastly different than what we presently have.

While I *understand* on a certain level a parent's desire to turn their child around (kid hates facing backwards, they can see their child, they can recline the front seats further without car seat interference, etc.), I have been exposed to a lot of research that has convinced me to keep Gemma rear-facing as long as possible. There are "minimums" on car seats (ex. - Child must be AT LEAST one year of age AND ___lbs before turning around to be forward-facing. Weight minimums vary by manufacturer) and there are "maximums" on car seats as well. These are set by weight and height of the child according the specific car seat/manufacturer.

I prefer to keep Gemma rear-facing to the MAX in order to keep her as safe as possible for as long as possible. The truth is, if there were a way to keep every single person in the car rear-facing, there would be significantly fewer serious injuries and deaths due to collisions. Obviously, you can't drive a car while facing backwards so we do the best we can with safety. But the fact is, there is a lot we can do to keep our children as safe as possible while in a vehicle. 

Gemma is only 21 lbs and petite all-around. I know 6 and 7 month olds who are that same weight and no parent would dream of putting their 7 month old forward-facing, so why would I put my child who is the same size as them forward-facing just because she's older?

The answer is, I wouldn't and I won't. As much as it can be an inconvenience for her and for us, her safety is more important than that. As parents, we do all kinds of things that are "inconvenient" for the sake of our child's health and well-being. How easy is it to brush your toddler's teeth? Or clip their nails? Or get your preschooler to eat all her vegetables? Or constantly monitor your baby while she's in the kiddie pool? Not all aspects of parenting are easy or fun, but when it comes to health and safety, no amount of sacrifice on our part is too much, if it keeps them safe.

Here's a quick video which does a good job of briefly discussing some of the major reasons to exercise the highest level of car seat safety. If you find it educational, I assure you, there are hours more that you can spend watching and reading up on car seat safety! :)