I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on this by any means whatsoever, but I just came across the trailer for the new documentary, Anonymous Father's Day, and it struck my heart quite deeply.
Part of God's plan for my life is that when I was five years old, my parents met. That might sound strange, but the details make it clearer. After my father's first marriage (to my biological mother) disintegrated, he met my mom. She may not have given birth to me, but she raised me, loved me, cared for my needs... she mothered me. She's my mom. The woman who gave birth to me is a person I don't even know. I've been estranged from her for the majority of my life. There are reasons for this, but suffice it to say, she had much greater interest in other things than in being a mom to my brother and me, and she had emotionally abandoned us long before my dad gathered up me, my brother, and our few belongings to leave her forever.
Now, I'm not sad at all about the way things turned out, because the path my life followed from that point gave me a mom, a sister, and a little brother that I otherwise would never have had. The blessings that I've received in my life are literally countless and I praise God always for the life he has given me.
So while there is no sadness or regret in the separation from my biological mother, there is still mystery. When I go to the doctor and they ask questions about my family's medical history, I can only provide information for one side. I wonder if she ever had other children, and I might have siblings out there somewhere. I have questions.
Any questions that my dad could answer have already been asked. Some things, however, will always left to mystery. At least I have the luxury of some answers. Imagine not having any answers about one of your biological parents. Imagine only knowing two or three simple facts. Imagine not even knowing the name of the person without whom you would not be alive.
This documentary gives a look into the hearts of people who were conceived through a sperm donor. They have questions. They have sadness. They have a longing for connection. Their very lives are shrouded in so much mystery. These are people who are products; the results of science, not sex. It's a complex issue wrought with so much emotion. It's easy to sympathize with the woman longing for a child, but how many people in this baby-making industry take the time to ponder the vast emotional repercussions their actions will have on the child - the PERSON - they are manufacturing?
Like I said, I'm by no means an expert on this, but I am a human with a heart who feels for these people as I watch this trailer: